Where we are now

Dear Ones:

I have to apologize for how little I have been able to post lately. I am still struggling with having been sick. Even been to the hospital. I just cant breathe right. I am home again and trying to get back to my self. Today I am making up some bone-knit tea. Johnny hurt his tailbone when one of the boys hit him with a bumper car!  I love that I can do a little something for my sweetie even though he should have known better. He is just a big kid though so what can you do but love him? It is also a sweet little plant and it makes my heart happy to see the goodness and healing that God provides us out of his beautiful Creation.

I do want to confess another reason I been quiet.  I struggle with depression and anxiety. Always have. What with being sick and all what we hear on the news, my feelings just seem to be keeping me down. How will we pay the hospital? How will we pay on our house if something else happens to Johnny? How do we pay for food? What happens if the truck breaks down? I cant get my mind around it. I just cant. Prayer has always kept me going when I get like this. I know God is watching over his child. But it surely is hard just now.  

I wonder, is anyone else feeling this heaviness? Why am I the only one? People near to me keep telling me I am too sensitive and that I just need to have Faith and that things will be alright. I feel very alone. 

I wanted to share a part of an email with you from someone who saw one of our stickies. Yvonne B lives in Louisiana she reached out to say 

I saw one of your stickers recently and something called me to check the link. I am in crisis in my life right now. You see, I have been working since I was 17. I had dreamed of going away to college and maybe being a marine biologist- I even had a scholarship! But my Mom needed me to help put food on the table for my sibs. From then on, I just kept on working. I was lucky that I worked my way into a good job at the bank in town. Through ups and downs I kept my shoulder to the wheel. When I had a boss that wasn't acting right, I said nothing and just kept going. I never tried to leave or complain. I just thought if I keep paying my bills and keep putting a little something by, eventually I would retire and then I could live my dreams. I didn't splurge very much ever- not on anything. 

I am getting very close to the time that I said I could leave all the worry and work behind. I had a nice little nest egg in the stock markets. And now it has just been drained right the way down. I feel so cheated and full of grief. A lifetime of struggle and now it is just GONE? I will never get to live my dreams and I did everything right. If what I hear about what they are doing to Social Security and Medicare is true, I don't even know how I can live at all. Do they think I can just keep working until I am in my grave? It doesn't seem fair. My dreams are gone and Elon Musk gets a tax break? Donald Trump gets to hold a military parade for himself and golf? 

I am heart broken and I don't think I can pray anymore. Kerrie, can you tell me what is the secret to your faith? How can you keep going? I know that there are people even worse off than me. How can we bear this?

Well, Dear Ones? What can we say to Yvonne and others who are hurting? Maybe this is all a test of our Faith and will? I wonder if God wants us to take things into our own hands and say "this is not right" to those in power. Did not Jesus overturn the tables in the temple?  We must pray and have faith, but perhaps we are being called to act as well. I am resolving to call Ted Cruz and Cornyn tomorrow and to keep speaking up here and to anyone who will listen.