Heavy times

 Dear Ones:

My heart is so heavy lately. It has been a struggle. I have been sick and can't seem to shake this thing. I had to keep to my bed for a couple days and I dont know when I ever did that in my life before. Then Johnny's father had to go to the hospital with heart failure. I think that is what is most worrysome to me. They will be letting him go, but I just dont know how we can manage caring for him. He will need us to help all day and night and there is no way we can do it and still keep up with what all we need to do to pay the bills. If we can find him a spot in a care home, he could go there. But where is there a spot and how do we pay for it?!?  I am scared to death if we can't get medicaid to help him. We just dont have the savings to pay and goodness knows that my FIL has got nothing. Johnny is 67 this year and we were hoping he could stop work. He's about wore out from all these years providing for me and the boys. Now I don't know how he can. With all this with his dad and all the high prices! 

I had hopes that our prayers had Elon Musk on the run since we haven't seen much about him in the news lately. But now I hear hes been into Social Security this whole time! He and some of those others are calling it a fraud and things like that! They are making it so you cant get your benefits that you paid for all these years by closing offices and shutting down the phones. Johnny's cousin died a bit ago (another sorrow on my heart) and his wife Linda called in to see about his survivorship benefits and she never did get them. She was on the phone for a long time and then the phone just up and hung up on her! She's going to try to get to San Antonio next week. I don't know what she will do. She dont have anything else coming in to pay for food and all. 

It feels like satan is winning again. I am so tired dear friends. It feels so dark. and some days I feel like no one is paying attention what I am saying. Everyone seems to just be going about their days like there is not evil upon our land. 

Now I am feeling a little better I will pray harder. Surely God will hear us? At least we are seeing some more wildflowers. And when I got up early today, I heard such a bird song! I know God is watching and taking care of all things as need be. God is good.