Families are hard right now

 We headed up to Dallas this weekend for a funeral. I thought this marker was just beautiful. And dont we all want to do His Will and not our own? 

Y'all. I know alot of us are struggling right now with family who dont see things the right way. Bless their hearts! We love em. But it is a struggle. I have a cousin who didn't get the memo not to talk politics at a funeral. She says to me "you are in a cult!" So I said "LoriAnn, you know I have been going to the same church for 23 years. It is God FIRST with me then family then country." So she says "prove it. If you arent in a cult, name one thing that Mr. Trump has done that you disagree with." Only she dint say "Mr. Trump." You just know she used one of those hateful finny names that liberals like to use. 

So I said "I do not like Elon Musk being in the government." and I do not like that Stephen Miller either. He gives me the shivers just looking at him. He looks like all the bad guys in every movie about World War II. From what I am hearing he is touched by satan same as Elon Musk. 

I heard they just sent deported a child with cancer away from here that had been born in America. I don't think that sounds right. And they have been going and rounding up people to meet a quota. They have been snatching up kids at SCHOOLS and people at their hearings. Mr. Trump told us he was going to get rid of all the bad criminals. I can't get my head around sick children being a criminal. Or if they are at a hearing, then it sounds like they aren't bad at all. Also I sure woulnt go see a judge if I was a gang member. I get made fun of sometimes because I am country, but I know that dont make sense.

I saw Stephen Miller talking about that man they got in El Salvdor. It doesnt seem like that man is bad. I don't know why we cant let him have a hearing about what he did and if hes a gang member or not. That place surely looks scary. I dont want to think about if we send people down there that dont belong. 

Johnny went to school with a boy named Javon. They played JV football together. One time the police stopped Javon and then went ahead an searched his truck for drugs because I guess Javon is a big guy and maybe he looked scary. Anyway the deputy came back with a baggie of something and said Javon had drugs. Which he did NOT because he was trying to do good playing football. They arrested Javon and treated him something awful in the county lockup. So I know they can put something on you if they want. At least Javon got a trial where he could tell his side. He got locked up for several months but later the deputy got found out for the bad things he was doing. Like even stopping young girls and telling them he would let them go if they would go do things with them! Evil walks among us.

I was thinking about this even over Easter. We concentrate on the moment the rock is moved from the door and the miracle of Jesus rising.  But before that he was a prisoner being judged. We dont talk so much about that anymore, do we? I was thinking about Pontius Pilate. He found Jesus innocent but he gave himself over to the powerful leaders and the crowd and sent Jesus to a brutal death. It was not justice for our Lord. It seems a lot like what Stephen Miller is doing to those people. It sure looks like he is running the show too. He is trying to tell us that what we could hear with our own ears was backwards. The Supreme Court said to get that man back on up here so he can get a judge to look at what he did or did not do. I think that man's child needs their daddy.

I will leave you with this from Matthew 25:40-45

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
42 For I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:
43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

Stray thoughts

It has been a hot minute. As always, my students garner more and more of my attention as the semester moves along. So much has happened while my attention has been turned. We have so much goin on in Texas with the leg fight for school vouchers. It feels like we have no hope of being able to fund out public schools while rich parents in the cities get a gift and money goes right into the pockets of corporations that offer nothing but slick promises. What is going to happen to all our small towns? Our rural towns will dry up and blow away and the sense of community GONE. My heart is so heavy thinking about it. No amount of citizen engagement seems to make any difference. And no amount of prayers. Here is another place where we have given away our souls for free.

Today I learned about another bill making its way through the State leg. It is a bill which would keep all people 18 and under out of a PUBLIC LIBRARY if the adult section cannot be secured. Think about that. I am NOT for kids reading just anything. However, it is for ME as the parent to say what my kids will read. Just like I always monitored what they did on their computers back in the day. Keeping kids out of libraries hurts my heart. Under at least one version, a parent cannot even allow their own kids access to the library.

I am attaching a link to information about the library bans. https://www.txftrp.org/stop_sb_2101

It does seem like we all have got Elon Musk on the run. He says he is leaving DOGE. I hope it is true and that he gets gone. But I worry that maybe he will still be in on everything and maybe not be a public facing. I found out that he seeks out certain female influencers on Twitter and boosts their profile so that they make bank with every post. Then he asks for them to get impregnated and have his baby. That is how his latest baby was born to someone named Ashley Sinclair. St. Clair said she was offered $15 million and a monthly stipend of $100,000 until the baby was 21, in exchange for agreeing to keep Musk’s relationship to the baby and to St. Clair secret. If the woman says "no thank you" then he pulls his followers and his support so her profile falls and she's left without the revenue. His goal is to have enough babies “to reach legion-level before the apocalypse.” He is vile.

A little note about this blog

 Dear Ones- a couple of us have come in hot on Helena's most recent post. I would like to point out that this blog is a place where we can question what we are seeing, hearing and feeling. It isnt a place where neither I nor Helena are telling you what to think. We all wonder things. I wonder why in all these years, Johnny has never once learned to get the wet towels off the bed. If one of these posts is something you aleady have your own clarity on, then good. If it is something that troubles you too, then we can think about it together. If you disagree with anything we say, that is fine. We are all just here trying to understand this world and find the Path that God has set out for us. If we put a foot wrong, but in good faith, God himself will judge and correct.  God loves us all. 

A heavy thing.

 Dear Friends, 

Helena here.

I have been away from Faithfull Ladies League for a long time. I am sorry. I kept up on my road trip, and then I, too, took ill. Not as bad as dear Kerrie, but I was down for quite a while. After that, life things just kept me away.

I’ve been thinking and praying a lot about some of the things I heard and talked about during my travels. I visited with friends and family in a few states, and I have to say I had my eyes opened on some  things. I want to get some of them out here onto the blog, especially one main thing I have been praying on every day.

I visited my cousin Alice (not her real name) in Austin. I have to tell you, I was a little bit afraid of going to Austin. I heard that the town is over-run by liberals and that horrible group Antifa is real active there. I was nervous, but Alice and I were real close as kids and haven’t seen her in years and years. So I drove up there after I visited Kerrie in Dripping Springs.

I am scared to write this, but my heart has been heavy about it. I’ve been praying every day about if I should tell this on here. I really feel I need to.

So, Alice has a son named Robbie. Robbie is about 30 and doesn’t live in Austin anymore. And Alice told me Robbie decided he wants to be a girl! I was shocked and I didn’t know how to think about it.

Alice set me down and talked real frank about it. She said Robbie wants to be called Robin. That pronoun thing that everyone talks about? All it is that those people want to be the opposite sex and want people to call them him or her or what have you. In Robin’s case, her.

So she (it is so hard for me to think of Robbie as she!!!!) came over for dinner and I didn’t really know how to act when I saw my little nephew now wearing a dress and lipstick! But I have always loved Robin. And I support whatever she wants. It is really hard to call him by the girl name and she. I had to go back and change it on this!!!

It was the first trans person I have met and he now wants to be called Robin and called “she.” I was shocked, I really was. I didn’t know how to react when Alice told me and then I found out that R was going to come over for dinner. I am sorry, but it is really hard for me to call him by the girl name.

R is my second cousin and it is really hard to understand. And Alice told me that R. Never did feel right inside. So, it seems that R. Felt like a girl for a really long time, ever since he was a young child. I must say, it sounds like R. Had a really bad time about it. R. Went through a lot and even tried to kill himself!!! I did not know about that and it just about broke my heart but Alice says R. Is better now and feels better but also that President Trump’s policies about trans people will really be bad and R. Is really scared.  Finally about five years ago R. decided to start being a girl. Like, wearing dresses, and letting her hair grow and even wearing makeup and such!! And a bra!

Alice said that even as a girl R. Has a girlfriend! I don’t understand it all, I mean maybe skip a step and just stay a boy and go out with girls? Alice said that it is not how things work. I do not understand. But I am trying hard because I love this family so much.

Anyways Alice and me had a long talk about it and she answered all my questions. I have to confess, friends. I was too scared to ask R. About it all but Alice was real nice and we talked for quite a while.

But I got to understanding a little better and I most of all love Alice and R. And the rest of the family. 

I could never imagine being a man! My word! How weird would that be to think of be being a man!!! And when I said that to Alice, she said, that is how R. Felt all the time. Very weird in being a man. I just can’t imagine it and I don’t understand it all. I am trying though friends. I am really trying!!!

I was always to believe that God does not make mistakes. If R. was to be loved before he became a girl, then the new R is still to be loved. By me, by everyone. My heart is full, though yet it is aching.

So anyways I thought that my FLL friends should know. I am praying for Robin every day and every night.

I am glad I got this off my chest. 

Please pray for my family, dear ones.

Love,
Helena

Where we are now

Dear Ones:

I have to apologize for how little I have been able to post lately. I am still struggling with having been sick. Even been to the hospital. I just cant breathe right. I am home again and trying to get back to my self. Today I am making up some bone-knit tea. Johnny hurt his tailbone when one of the boys hit him with a bumper car!  I love that I can do a little something for my sweetie even though he should have known better. He is just a big kid though so what can you do but love him? It is also a sweet little plant and it makes my heart happy to see the goodness and healing that God provides us out of his beautiful Creation.

I do want to confess another reason I been quiet.  I struggle with depression and anxiety. Always have. What with being sick and all what we hear on the news, my feelings just seem to be keeping me down. How will we pay the hospital? How will we pay on our house if something else happens to Johnny? How do we pay for food? What happens if the truck breaks down? I cant get my mind around it. I just cant. Prayer has always kept me going when I get like this. I know God is watching over his child. But it surely is hard just now.  

I wonder, is anyone else feeling this heaviness? Why am I the only one? People near to me keep telling me I am too sensitive and that I just need to have Faith and that things will be alright. I feel very alone. 

I wanted to share a part of an email with you from someone who saw one of our stickies. Yvonne B lives in Louisiana she reached out to say 

I saw one of your stickers recently and something called me to check the link. I am in crisis in my life right now. You see, I have been working since I was 17. I had dreamed of going away to college and maybe being a marine biologist- I even had a scholarship! But my Mom needed me to help put food on the table for my sibs. From then on, I just kept on working. I was lucky that I worked my way into a good job at the bank in town. Through ups and downs I kept my shoulder to the wheel. When I had a boss that wasn't acting right, I said nothing and just kept going. I never tried to leave or complain. I just thought if I keep paying my bills and keep putting a little something by, eventually I would retire and then I could live my dreams. I didn't splurge very much ever- not on anything. 

I am getting very close to the time that I said I could leave all the worry and work behind. I had a nice little nest egg in the stock markets. And now it has just been drained right the way down. I feel so cheated and full of grief. A lifetime of struggle and now it is just GONE? I will never get to live my dreams and I did everything right. If what I hear about what they are doing to Social Security and Medicare is true, I don't even know how I can live at all. Do they think I can just keep working until I am in my grave? It doesn't seem fair. My dreams are gone and Elon Musk gets a tax break? Donald Trump gets to hold a military parade for himself and golf? 

I am heart broken and I don't think I can pray anymore. Kerrie, can you tell me what is the secret to your faith? How can you keep going? I know that there are people even worse off than me. How can we bear this?

Well, Dear Ones? What can we say to Yvonne and others who are hurting? Maybe this is all a test of our Faith and will? I wonder if God wants us to take things into our own hands and say "this is not right" to those in power. Did not Jesus overturn the tables in the temple?  We must pray and have faith, but perhaps we are being called to act as well. I am resolving to call Ted Cruz and Cornyn tomorrow and to keep speaking up here and to anyone who will listen.